All right. I was talking to Annie Annie Little White Fanny about this whole journal thing, and we decided I should keep one, because mine would be funny. And I think it's a good way to get out my smartass observations without taking them out on those around me. Don't expect anything deep, you ain't getting it here. No gossip, no pissing and moaning about my friends, just observations. And by observations, I mean either stuff that pisses me off or makes me laugh.
First observation - apparently no one in Washington has anywhere to be or any life at all. Or let me rephrase that. 90% of the people who drive in this state haven't anywhere to be or any life at all. I say this because never in my life have I ever been somewhere where I consistently yell, "HAVE YOU DIED BEHIND THE WHEEL OF YOUR CAR?" at people when I am stuck behind them. People regularly go 5 - 10 miles BELOW the designated speed limit, even on the highway. It's sick. My fave-fave-FAVORITE is when people pull out in front of me at the last minute, like they are in SUCH a rush they cannot WAIT until I am past, and THEN go slowly. WHAT THE HELL. There is no reason for that behavior. Drive, people! I have made up curse words whilst behind the wheel of the car here in Tacoma. It's truly fantastic.
Second observation - Annie and Caitlin both rule my world. All women should be that much fun. That's Cait above. She is in Montana and I am thus crying myself to sleep every night.
My song lyric for today is "Tell the truth, you never wanted me." Don't ask me why, it's complicated.
Now I will tell the rigging story. If you're bored already, just stop reading. It's not gonna get any more exciting. Now or ever.
So my Dad does this thing we call "rigging". As in, "Have Dad rig that up for you," or "I'm sure Dad can rig that somehow." Rigging involves my father taking common household objects and using them to fix something that is broken. Usually the result of the rigging is really unsightly, but a good rigging job can last a long time.
I was home for Gret's graduation. My mom waited until the day before her graduation party to buy decorations. What was left was slim pickins, but we managed, including one decoration that was absolutely beautful in its sheer hideousness. I don't think I can adequately describe it online, but here goes. It was like a thin metal circle with a metal crossbar. From the circle exploded shiny metallic blue stars. They naturally folded into the center, but when pushed out, would sort of bounce around the outside of the circle. From the circle hung about ten feet of shiny blue and silver... stuff. I don't know, that long, string, tinselly, decoration stuff. Anyhow, so we take the thing out, and there is no place we can put it where it won't drag on the ground. So my mother and I are kind of eyeing it up and then gauging how far it is to the top of the BLUE AND WHITE (see a theme here?) tent she's rented. The tent center was probably twenty feet off the ground, so she said, "I bet Dad could do it!" With these words, the rigging begins.
The first step in rigging is for my father to assess the situation while muttering to himself. This he did, and I caught words and phrases such as "coat hanger" and "stick it up there".
The second step is for my father to disappear into the house and return with the necessary rigging materials. In this case, he returned with a coat hanger, a wire cutters, and a long piece of wood, culled from God knows where. The wood had a notch on one end. It was unclear whether the notch had just been created, or was preexisting from a previous rigging adventure.
So my mother and I watched as he clipped apart the coat hanger, slid it into the metal top part of the long, hideous decoration, and then somehow precariously balanced the whole shebang in the notch of the wood.
He then started poking it up into the roof of the tent, whilst my mom was saying things like, "Don't rip the tent, for God's sake!" and "Maybe if you slide it that way..." All the while i am nudging her and telling her to shut up before he gets pissed, cause rigging is stressful business. I thought we ALL knew that from experience. Nonetheless, she persisted until finally he yelled something like, "You want to fucking do this yourself?" and she giggled. This, too, is part of the rigging process, you see.
Finally, after much cursing, and generally with a cigarette hanging from the side of the mouth, the rigging is complete, and as per usual, this was the case in this situation as well. The completion of the rigging is usually followed by clapping, and more muttering from my father as he gathers his materials and heads back inside. Not before, however, using the rigging stick to flip the stars out of the center of the decoration so that they could float in all their majesty.
The decoration truly made the entire party... magical.
