from some girl's myspace profile (no, this isn't a joke):

  sylvia's Blurbs About me:
I am the nicest person ever until you get on my bad side! Shit doesn't get anybetter that this, I have the greatest boyfriend the bestest best friends ever! Like normal people I hate my job is suck big long green slimy donkey dick. ( not like I would know from exp or anything but just something to give you a mental note. ) I have no kids thank god I just have 2 of the cuttest cats, 2 rabbits and 1 snake that I wouldn't mind getting rid of. I Would have more animals but they cant seem to stay alive for long periods of time. Whom I'd like to meet:
jo momma

 Lovecat713:  david, i have to be honest with you.
Lovecat713:  people who don't watch tv, or say they don't watch tv, or don't own TVs...
Lovecat713:  they really freak me out.
WingerMDW74:  i HATE those people!!
Lovecat713:  i feel there is no POSSIBLE way i could have anything in common with them.
Lovecat713:  ME TOO.
Lovecat713:  seriously if someone says they don't have a tv i am immediately over it.
WingerMDW74:  what's even worse is the people who say they don't watch tv and are lying about it!
WingerMDW74:  i once met someone who said she never watches tv. we then had a 45 minute discussion about alias.
WingerMDW74:  apparently downloading shows of the internet doesn't count as watching tv.
Lovecat713:  oh JESUS.
Lovecat713:  give me a goddamned break.
Lovecat713:  not watching tv does not make you more cultured or active in my opinion.
Lovecat713:  it makes you lame and gives me 25% less to discuss with you.
WingerMDW74:  true!
WingerMDW74:  i know people who read lots and lots of books, AND watch the apprentice!
Lovecat713:  that's julian.
Lovecat713:  okay.
Lovecat713:  read this girl's about me.
Lovecat713:  http://profiles.myspace.com/users/22076265
WingerMDW74:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Lovecat713:  eeeeeheeheheee
WingerMDW74:  i was wondering what part was supposed to be the 'punch line', but it just kept going!!
Lovecat713:  "just to give you a mental note"?
Lovecat713:  honey, i am pretty sure you mean mental IMAGE.
WingerMDW74:  hehehe. yes, thanks for that! it' in my brain now!
WingerMDW74:  hehehehehehe
WingerMDW74:  she doesn't have any kids thank god!
Lovecat713:  I'LL say!
Lovecat713:  since she evidently has a hard time keeping animals alive!
WingerMDW74:  cause you know, short-lived animals may be one thing, but when the kids start dropping the authorities start snooping around!
Lovecat713:  heeeeeeeeeeheeheeheheee
WingerMDW74:  i just noticed she has a snake she 'wouldn't mind getting rid of'.
Lovecat713:  HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA
Lovecat713:  i am sure it will drop.
Lovecat713:  just like all the rest.
WingerMDW74:  i'm sure she said the same thing about her pet hamsters!
WingerMDW74:  man, this profile is just chock full of snickering goodness!
Lovecat713:  heeeeheeheeheeee
WingerMDW74:  i iiked the headline, myself.
Lovecat713:  "Grrrrrrrrr!! (in a sexy kind of way)" 
WingerMDW74:  at first, it was just Grrrrrr!! but it made people standoffish.
Lovecat713:  she didn't want you to think, "Grrrrrrr!! and now i will kill you just like i kill all the animals i purchase and then decide are too much work!"
WingerMDW74:  hehehehehe
WingerMDW74:  and correct me if i'm wrong, but isn't the 'sexy' growl spelled 'rawr!' ?
Lovecat713:  HAHAHAHAHA
WingerMDW74:  grrrrr! just sounds like a grizzly bear.
Lovecat713:  i have never actually made OR spelled a sexy growl.
Lovecat713:  all i have ever done is like, "grrr, where the hell is my damned watch?"
WingerMDW74:  hmmm... decidedly NOT sexy! hehehe
Lovecat713:  PREcisely.
WingerMDW74:  i wonder what her job is.
Lovecat713:  i dunno, but i can tell you ONE thing.
WingerMDW74:  and that is?
Lovecat713:  is suck big long green slimy donkey dick