snl

amy poehler said they were thinking of renaming viagra boi-oi-oi-oi-oing:

Lovecat713:  boi-oi-oi-oi-oing.
SkullHeadMan:  that outkast thing was funny
Lovecat713:  she did a good boi-oi-oi-oi-oing.
Lovecat713:  i didn't hear it, i was too busy typing boi-oi-oi-oi-oing.
SkullHeadMan:  yeah, I got that you liked that.
SkullHeadMan:  maybe you miss the boi-oi-oi-oing
Lovecat713:  i am still getting it. i have seven men. one for each day of the week. want to know their names?
SkullHeadMan:  sure (this should be good)
Lovecat713:  okay.
Lovecat713:  phinneas, larry, harold, artie, danforth, edwin, and olaf.
SkullHeadMan:  wow, seems like you got some real international flavor there.
Lovecat713:  HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA
SkullHeadMan:  Am I funny enough to get in the journal?
Lovecat713:  yep!

late night commercials!

 Lovecat713:  oh
Lovecat713:  my
Lovecat713:  god
Lovecat713:  there was seriously the BEST fucking tv personal-ad-chatline commercial on EVER. 
WingerMDW74:  really?
WingerMDW74:  i love those, cause all the women in the ads look like GREAT conversationalists!
Lovecat713:  no! this was a MAN!
WingerMDW74:  you're kidding! they actually have those?
Lovecat713:  this brawny guy is in a wifebeater and jeans.
Lovecat713:  and he's by a big pile of logs.
Lovecat713:  and he goes, "i love country living. and i want someone to share it with," as he's putting a log on a stump and picking up a sledgehammer. "that's why i joined tango personals." then he puts one foot on the stump and kinda casually leans his elbow on his knee.
WingerMDW74:  wait, it's not THE brawny guy is it?
Lovecat713:  no, not THE brawny guy. A brawny guy.
WingerMDW74:  ok.
WingerMDW74:  that is SO not a real commercial!
Lovecat713:  I SWEAR TO GOD! i couldn't make this shit up!
WingerMDW74:  i must see this ad some time!
Lovecat713:  i wish, after picking up the sledgehammer, he looked into the camera, grinned wildly, and gave us a "heeeeeeeeeeeeere's JOHNNY!"
WingerMDW74:  and what the heck is tango personals?
WingerMDW74:  hehehehe.
Lovecat713:  apparently that's where you can meet brawny the wood chopper!
WingerMDW74:  what self-respecting outdoors macho man would even THINK about joining something called tango personals?
Lovecat713:  he wants someone to share his country life with, david! pay attention!
WingerMDW74:  yes, but c'mon? tango?
WingerMDW74:  that's the LEAST manly personals name ever!
Lovecat713:  what about fast cupid?
WingerMDW74:  uh, it's a faceoff.

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (21%) low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness (63%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion (70%) high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

meant to be together.....

annie says:

so weird...

annie says:

for the last hour or so,

annie says:

i can't see any pictures on myspace.

annie says:

oh.

annie says:

my.

annie says:

god.

kate says:

what>

anniesays:

i just hit the browse page.

kate says:

i almost typed whart.

annie says:

and the only picture that showed up, THE ONLY ONE,

annie says:

was yours.

annie says:

i swear to god.

annie says:

that is so fucking weird.

annie says:

it's right there, in the middle of the page.

kate says:

OH MY GOD!@!!!!!!!!!!!

kate says:

i am dying!

annie says:

the ONLY one i can see.

kate says:

i am laughing and like holding my breath at the same time!

kate says:

it's a sign.

kate says:

run away to cabo with me.

annie says:

what. the. fuck.

annie says:

i wish i could show you!!!!

kate says:

ME TOO!@

annie says:

everyone else just has a name, and a blnk spot.

annie says:

including me.

annie says:

we both happen to be on the first page.

kate says:

that's insane!!!

annie says:

bc we're both online right now...

annie says:

yeah.

annie says:

okay. i'm going to hit home, and then go back to this page, and see what happens.

kate says:

okay.

annie says:

you're pic doesn't even show up on MY homepage...

kate says:

weird.

annie says:

yup. but there you are, plain as day on the browse page.

kate says:

WEIRD!

annie says:

in a slightly different spot...

apologies and other useless information

my last entry was venomous, inappropriate, rude, and cruel. i will not delete it because i DID say it, but i am sorry that i sunk to such a base and immature level. i am trying to be a better person, but like any wild thing, when attacked, i attack right back. and let's face it. are those who are governed almost completely by emotion really any more civilized than animals?

open letter to an asshole

i always hated you. i pretended to like you to make things easier. sometimes i even tried to like you.

but when it came down to it, i always hated you.

and the more i learn about you, the more i hate you.

i hate everything about you. your pasty skin. your "i'm too cool for the world" tattoos. your drunken rages. your nasally voice. your bloodshot eyes. your atrocious grammar. your stupidity. your lack of responsibility. your false promises. your constant striving to be more and more of a scenester. your lack of ambition. your controlling, manipulative nature. your ugly personality. your moronic, immature sense of humor. your lack of respect for privacy. your insensitivity. your greediness. your selfishness.

we don't even know each other. but i know enough of you through your behavior, both to me and others, to know you are like cancer. if you really loved anyone besides yourself, you'd change, or kill yourself and rid the world of your poison. you disgust me.

Oh, the Beauty of Morons.

Got this e-mail from some lamebrain on AOL:

Subj: hey
i saw you in member directory and you are sexy as hell, i am 24/m/lakewood;

i responded:
i appreciate the compliment, but i have enough men in my life currently. thanks anyway.

Did he give up? HELL NO:
not even for just like show and tell sexy

Again, I responded:
????? i have no idea what that means, but it really doesn't sound like something i would be interested in. i am more into INTELLECTUAL intercourse, thanks.

and AGAIN, not taking the "you're dumb and i'm not" clue i basically just clubbed him over the head with, he responded:
like getting naked and masturbating together

Ding ding ding! Officially a winner. I responded:
well, as INCREDIBLY enticing as it sounds to do that with a stranger from the internet who would consider, even for a moment, that i would respond favorably to this approach, i am going to have to go with NO, still.

So far, no response. Updates as events progress.