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Cynical and Confused

i fucking RULE!

You are Pulp. Youre quite popular as most people
find it easy to relate to you. You can be a
little eccentric at times, but this only makes
you more endearing to the people around you.
You refuse to conform - people tend to change
to suit you and you plan to keep it that way.

Which Britpop Band Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

me speak good.

this is supposed to be in html, but it's not working right. stupid html. stupid aol. and yeah, i'm a yank. surprise surprise.

 

Your Linguistic Profile:

45% General American English

45% Yankee

10% Dixie

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?  

seeking: wealthy benefactor

Having spent WAY too much money the past several years, and now wanting to further my education and do better by myself, and having a part time job that I cannot leave because I love my boss and he needs me, and unable to find another part time job to supplement my income, and having just spent $1000 that I don't have to register for an English class and finally get my BA, I am seeking a wealthy benefactor.

The benefits are that said benefactor would get to contribute money to a worthy cause, instead of buying another $200 pair of jeans, and the good feeling s/he would get knowing that s/he is helping me. Also, my lifelong gratitude and friendship. And free editing work on any document s/he produces for the rest of his/her lifetime.

Additionally, I would happily accept several upper-middle class benefactors in place of one wealthy one.

I anxiously anticipate a response.

meet kate via stupid online quizzes

You Belong in1967

If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

Your EQ is 113

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!

51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.

71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.

91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.

111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.

131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.

150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

You Should Be Catwoman for Halloween!

What should you be for Halloween?

Your Love Style is Manic

 

For you, love is the ultimate rollercoaster And you love to hold on tight and enjoy the ride Every time you fall in love, it feels like the first time And while it's exciting and exhilarating... It's also stressful and scary! What's Your Love Style?

You Are A Good Friend

 

You're always willing to listen Or lend a shoulder to cry on You're there through thick and thin Many people consider you their "best friend"! What Kind of Friend Are You?

You Are Socks!

 

Cozy and warm... but easily lost. You make a good puppet. What Crappy Gift Are You?

Against My Better Judgment....

i offered to help a friend who shall remain nameless with a homework assignment. she is in an english class, and was to go online to a discussion board, and post a short autobiography and opinion on a given topic. she chose internet porn, as did some of her other classmates. after everyone had posted, they were then to respond to two of their classmates' posts with their own opinions. my friend posted her autobiography and opinion (internet pornography RULZ!) and then was unable to get back in to post her response opinions. this duty fell to me.

CLASSMATE'S ENTRY:

Hi, my name is Andrea.  I've been at T.C.C for two years and I am working on my envirmental science degree. Eventually I would like to become a Zoologist and work at a big cat reserve.  I would love to internship in Africa and actually be able to just study the cats at the reserve.  I always loved animails for as long as I can remember.  I have a cat named Misty, she is the queen of the house.  I am very active in water sports that is I like to wakeboard and waterski with the occasional tubing.  I also like to snowski.  I own a Moomba which is a skiboat.  Summer would not be summer without being able to cut out ther on the glassy water while my rooster tail flies out into the air. I love skiing.  I was in a water skiing tournament called INT for about four years.  It was my dad who got me hooked on skiing. One thing I can not stand is Internet pornography. Internet Pornography  is what I think is ruining the internet.  The internet was not built or made so people can have sexual fantasies.  It was made to be used as a resource and communication service.  Pornography demotes the whole purpose of the internet!  I don't have children but if I did I would worry about what is poping up on their computer screen. I think about what is the purpose of pornography.  It is none other then people demestrating sexual actievies which in my oppion should be left in bedrooms and not flashing up all over the internet.  Another thing that sickens me with the internet pornography is pictures of young children!I have no words of how discraceful and horrable this is.  There is no good in Internet pornography. That is my oppion on that subject and I wouldlike to here any comments of what you think. 

Marie's Reponses:

Estella1876:  what the mother fuck?
Estella1876:  where do you even start?
Estella1876:  i could sit here for hours
Lovecat713:  haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Estella1876:  the best is the internet pornography "poping" up on the kids computers
Estella1876:  i think given the recent passing of the pope he would be offended to have his name used in such a way
Estella1876:  i thought for the longest time she was talking about regular snow skiing, btu then she was talking about ski boats and skiing in summer
Estella1876:  and that really threw me off
Estella1876:  what is that about her rooster tail?  is that the new name for a mullet?
Lovecat713:  I AM DROOLING I AM LAUGHING SO HARD!!!!!!!!!
Estella1876:  LOL wait is this for papers she is grading?
Lovecat713:  no, she is IN SCHOOL with this moron!!!!!
Estella1876:  oh my god that would make me want to go to this school
Estella1876:  i thought maybe for a second it was just a fourth grader with a dirty mind, or whos dad liked internet porn, and for a second it was okay

David's Reponses:

StrangelyCompeld:  my first comment... she could have used a stronger transition from water skiing to internet porn.
Lovecat713:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I KNOWWWWWWWWW
Lovecat713:  i was like, NICE segue!!!!!
StrangelyCompeld:  'it was my dad who got me hooked on skiing. my dad also likes to look at internet porn.'
Lovecat713:  I AM FUCKING DYING.
StrangelyCompeld:  also, wow! she's been in college for TWO YEARS!
StrangelyCompeld:  hehehehe
StrangelyCompeld:  i don't know, but that little essay really demotes the concept of a (college name here) education. in my oppion.
Lovecat713:  okay, i have to compose a response for annie. yes, i am doing her homework. then i will look at another one and share, because you and marie totally just made my fucking NIGHT.

from some girl's myspace profile (no, this isn't a joke):

  sylvia's Blurbs About me:
I am the nicest person ever until you get on my bad side! Shit doesn't get anybetter that this, I have the greatest boyfriend the bestest best friends ever! Like normal people I hate my job is suck big long green slimy donkey dick. ( not like I would know from exp or anything but just something to give you a mental note. ) I have no kids thank god I just have 2 of the cuttest cats, 2 rabbits and 1 snake that I wouldn't mind getting rid of. I Would have more animals but they cant seem to stay alive for long periods of time. Whom I'd like to meet:
jo momma

 Lovecat713:  david, i have to be honest with you.
Lovecat713:  people who don't watch tv, or say they don't watch tv, or don't own TVs...
Lovecat713:  they really freak me out.
WingerMDW74:  i HATE those people!!
Lovecat713:  i feel there is no POSSIBLE way i could have anything in common with them.
Lovecat713:  ME TOO.
Lovecat713:  seriously if someone says they don't have a tv i am immediately over it.
WingerMDW74:  what's even worse is the people who say they don't watch tv and are lying about it!
WingerMDW74:  i once met someone who said she never watches tv. we then had a 45 minute discussion about alias.
WingerMDW74:  apparently downloading shows of the internet doesn't count as watching tv.
Lovecat713:  oh JESUS.
Lovecat713:  give me a goddamned break.
Lovecat713:  not watching tv does not make you more cultured or active in my opinion.
Lovecat713:  it makes you lame and gives me 25% less to discuss with you.
WingerMDW74:  true!
WingerMDW74:  i know people who read lots and lots of books, AND watch the apprentice!
Lovecat713:  that's julian.
Lovecat713:  okay.
Lovecat713:  read this girl's about me.
Lovecat713:  http://profiles.myspace.com/users/22076265
WingerMDW74:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Lovecat713:  eeeeeheeheheee
WingerMDW74:  i was wondering what part was supposed to be the 'punch line', but it just kept going!!
Lovecat713:  "just to give you a mental note"?
Lovecat713:  honey, i am pretty sure you mean mental IMAGE.
WingerMDW74:  hehehe. yes, thanks for that! it' in my brain now!
WingerMDW74:  hehehehehehe
WingerMDW74:  she doesn't have any kids thank god!
Lovecat713:  I'LL say!
Lovecat713:  since she evidently has a hard time keeping animals alive!
WingerMDW74:  cause you know, short-lived animals may be one thing, but when the kids start dropping the authorities start snooping around!
Lovecat713:  heeeeeeeeeeheeheeheheee
WingerMDW74:  i just noticed she has a snake she 'wouldn't mind getting rid of'.
Lovecat713:  HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA
Lovecat713:  i am sure it will drop.
Lovecat713:  just like all the rest.
WingerMDW74:  i'm sure she said the same thing about her pet hamsters!
WingerMDW74:  man, this profile is just chock full of snickering goodness!
Lovecat713:  heeeeheeheeheeee
WingerMDW74:  i iiked the headline, myself.
Lovecat713:  "Grrrrrrrrr!! (in a sexy kind of way)" 
WingerMDW74:  at first, it was just Grrrrrr!! but it made people standoffish.
Lovecat713:  she didn't want you to think, "Grrrrrrr!! and now i will kill you just like i kill all the animals i purchase and then decide are too much work!"
WingerMDW74:  hehehehehe
WingerMDW74:  and correct me if i'm wrong, but isn't the 'sexy' growl spelled 'rawr!' ?
Lovecat713:  HAHAHAHAHA
WingerMDW74:  grrrrr! just sounds like a grizzly bear.
Lovecat713:  i have never actually made OR spelled a sexy growl.
Lovecat713:  all i have ever done is like, "grrr, where the hell is my damned watch?"
WingerMDW74:  hmmm... decidedly NOT sexy! hehehe
Lovecat713:  PREcisely.
WingerMDW74:  i wonder what her job is.
Lovecat713:  i dunno, but i can tell you ONE thing.
WingerMDW74:  and that is?
Lovecat713:  is suck big long green slimy donkey dick

woohoo! kegger!

Lovecat713:  let me relate a funny story to you.
Lovecat713:  i had the munchies a couple weeks ago.
Lovecat713:  so i walked to 7-11 and picked up a few bags of chips, for variety.
Lovecat713:  then i walked to subway to get a sandwich, so i would eat something real first.
Lovecat713:  and the kid who waited on me asked, "what's with all the chips?"
Lovecat713:  and rather thansaying, "i've got the munchies, OKAY?"
Lovecat713:  i said, "i'm having a party."
Lovecat713:  i am giggling already, for some reason. in retrospect, it seems ridiculous, i guess.
WingerMDW74:  hehehe
Lovecat713:  at any rate, he asked - "a get together, or a college kegger?"
WingerMDW74:  there was really no rational reason for that lie.
WingerMDW74:  hehehehehehehe
Lovecat713:  i was like, "uh, i'm 27."
Lovecat713:  he said, "oh... well, you're never too old for a kegger."
WingerMDW74:  so true!
Lovecat713:  i just answered the phone and am stifling laughter!
WingerMDW74:  hehe. i hope it's not bad news!
Lovecat713:  okay, done. for some reason, my already giggly state, combined with "so true!" just set me off!
WingerMDW74:  hehehe
WingerMDW74:  he didn't try to invite himself over did he?
Lovecat713:  no but i was SERIOUSLY waiting for that!
WingerMDW74:  'uh, you know, i get off at, uh, nine.'
Lovecat713:  TOTALLY.
WingerMDW74:  imagine his disappointment when he shows up with a keg, to find only you and a bunch of empty bags of chips.
Lovecat713:  HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA
Lovecat713:  THIS little beauty's going in my blog!
WingerMDW74:  woohoo!

the grammar apple doesn't fall far from the grammar tree

from gretchen - she is pot is for jerks:

smartypants7979: are u a robot?
pot is for jerks: hahaha, yes, i am.
smartypants7979: oh
smartypants7979: wut else do u noe to say?
pot is for jerks: i know how to correct your spelling.
pot is for jerks: and grammar.
pot is for jerks: i can do it all.
smartypants7979: oh, correct it
pot is for jerks: "what else do you know how to say?" or "what else can you say?"
pot is for jerks: will that be all?
smartypants7979: i dun noe u
smartypants7979: coreect that
pot is for jerks: "i don't know you."
pot is for jerks: "correct that."
smartypants7979: You are a fucking bitch
smartypants7979: correct that
pot is for jerks: that sentence was grammatically correct. the first one of the conversation! congratulations, you're not entirely illiterate!
smartypants7979: well try this.

and then gretchen blocked him/her/it. feeling cheated by the abrupt end of this exchange, i decided to take matters into my own hands:

 Lovecat713:  hello. i am the sister robot of the grammar robot you talked to earlier.
Lovecat713:  i am also a fucking bitch.
smartypants7979:  really?
Lovecat713:  yes.
smartypants7979:  I love bitches
smartypants7979:  r u  a slut?
Lovecat713:  no, just a grammar bitch.
smartypants7979:  oh
smartypants7979:  u r a robot too?
Lovecat713:  yes. i am.
smartypants7979:  robot bitch
Lovecat713:  i prefer "robobitch," but okay.
smartypants7979:  press Alt and F4
Lovecat713:  i'm sorry, i don't follow commands.
smartypants7979:  u r scared
Lovecat713:  robots don't have feelings.
smartypants7979:  then robots r stupid
Lovecat713:  robots cannot be stupid or smart. they're machines.
smartypants7979:  those  machine are stupid because i said so
Lovecat713:  interesting. if you say the sky is green, is that also so because you said so?
smartypants7979:  i dun like green
smartypants7979:  i like black
Lovecat713:  i see.
smartypants7979:  so get it right
Lovecat713:  i never suggested you liked green, nor did i suggest you didn't like green.
Lovecat713:  i merely asked a hypothetical question.
smartypants7979:  i didn't say that u said that
Lovecat713:  well, in spite of your lack of correct punctuation, your statement "so get it right" implies that i got something wrong.
smartypants7979:  well u did
smartypants7979:  now fuck off bitch, u type slow
Lovecat713:  yes? and what was it i got wrong?
Lovecat713:  interesting. insults are very mature and intelligent.
Lovecat713:  please, give me more.
smartypants7979:  shut up
smartypants7979:  u r bothering me
Lovecat713:  and it would seem to me that i, in fact, type much more quickly (that's an adverb) than you do.
Lovecat713:  really? you didn't seem to have any problem with bothering my sister. does talking to people who are more intelligent than you are bother you?
smartypants7979:  i m not gonna answer u now cuz u r ignorant, u can keep on talking talking talking, i m just gonna ignor ig nor ignor
Lovecat713:  oh, i'm ignorant? that's interesting.
Lovecat713:  you clearly don't know what the correct definition of that word is.
Lovecat713:  being ignored doesn't bother me.

another abrupt ending! damn it! but i would say that my conversation leaves the score robot grammar sisters 2, moron of indeterminate gender 0.

EXTRA BONUS CHAPTER! kris came online, so we had HER message the person too.

KEStiteler:  guess what!
smartypants7979:  who r u
KEStiteler:  i am the third and final sister / robobitch.
smartypants7979:  i dun care, now fuck off
KEStiteler:  dun? is that anything like "don't?" or "done"?

and then It went silent, for the last time.

Oh K Mart.

Lovecat713:  oh my god, THIS IS HYSTERICAL.
Lovecat713:  i just looked something up on dictionary.com.
Lovecat713:  and the ad on the page is from KMart.
Lovecat713:  and it says:
Lovecat713:  Reward Extraordinary People in Your School
Lovecat713:  Class Acts Context
Lovecat713:  Enter Now!
Lovecat713:  and i was like, class acts context? what the hell does THAT mean? they can't possibly mean contest... can they?
Lovecat713:  so i click on the ad.
Lovecat713:  yep. class acts CONTEST.
WingerMDW74:  hehehe
Lovecat713:  the ad is misspelled - on the dictionary.com website!
WingerMDW74:  obviously, they should have used dictionary.com to proofread the ad for their education contest.
Lovecat713:  oh god, so sad. it's just so sad in SO many ways!
WingerMDW74:  sad AND funny!
Lovecat713:  eeeeeeeheeheeheee

strangely accurate...

Kate was
a Famous Model
in a past life.

Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

at least she didn't use "masturbate"

RachelEZone:  i love my kate
RachelEZone:  she's great
Lovecat713:  i love my rach
Lovecat713:  but nothing rhymes with that
RachelEZone:  i know
RachelEZone:  so sad that i can't rhyme my name
Lovecat713:  i'll try to think of something.
RachelEZone:  i love my kate
she is great
bring her out on a date
to skate
and she'll be your mate
but don't make her wait
or she'll be full of hate
cause she'll be late
to meet you at the gate
Lovecat713:  good call! and the late part is really true!

please vote for me, kids.

 

You can vote once a day. Thanks and smooches. (This link will not work in AOL - cut and paste to copy into an outside browser: http://www.myvintagehut.com/pinups.htm)

oh god it never ends.....

 yesterday, after i talked to genius mchuge penis, i forwarded the conversation around for everyone to enjoy. after julian read it, i discussed with him how, 9 times out of 10, after a conversation like that, i will end up hearing from the guy again. there is something about an intelligent, bitchy woman that these idiot men cannot stay away from. they don't know that i am kind, compassionate, etc - all they know is that i was a real bitch to them online. nonetheless, more often than not, they come back for more.   today, i got up to the following message waiting for me, received whilst i was away/asleep:  

 ShowinWhenGrowin:  whatever happened yesterday, I am sorry for my part...
Auto response from Lovecat713:
...I want to tell you my tale
How I fell in love and jumped out on my bail...

History - The Verve  

 i didn't respond. then, just now...  

 DomMasterFirm:  Thompson Twins or Duran Duran are not top 10 for you?
Lovecat713:  no, sorry.
DomMasterFirm:  why not though?
Lovecat713:  because i'm not so much into the top 40 type music.
DomMasterFirm:  do you think everything they made went top 40?
DomMasterFirm:  not hardly
DomMasterFirm:  the cure had like 20 top 40 hits, so what you said makes no sense
Lovecat713:  oh, really? please, send me a list of those 20 when you have time.
Lovecat713:  also, does it really matter, honestly, what makes me like one band more than another?
DomMasterFirm:  I guess not, but it was ONLY a question, and you did not make sense with the answer...wow, are you ok?
Lovecat713:  wow, i am getting the STRANGEST feeling that i talked to your twin brother yesterday.
DomMasterFirm:  I have a sister
Lovecat713:  okay, well, your doppelganger.
DomMasterFirm:  excuse me?
DomMasterFirm:  maybe YOUR doppleganger
Lovecat713:  i'm really not even sure what that means.
DomMasterFirm:  all I asked was a simple question and you are off and running about doppleganger??
DomMasterFirm:  I have no clue
Lovecat713:  i'm a DETRACTOR, you see.
Lovecat713:  i have no accountability.
Lovecat713:  NONE/.
DomMasterFirm:  what?
DomMasterFirm:  ok, well, have a good day
Lovecat713:  just take my word for it.
DomMasterFirm:  fine
DomMasterFirm:  I hope you get the help you desperately seem to need
Lovecat713:  me too!
DomMasterFirm:  lol

FYI - here's Mr. Firm's profile:

Name: SirDom
Gender:      Male
Hobbies & Interests: Be honest, polite, and be submissive...There are only a few special people that can share what I have learned...Only the best kink available...Do you like any extreme? Very well endowed for those special submissives...
Personal Quote: Do the best you can to share happiness...The world is counting on you...

tormenting boys online since the early 90s, part 2

Lovecat713:  we're all entitled to draw our own conclusions and make our own observations. ShowinWhenGrowin:  I originally found you to discuss 80's things, and YOU turned this into a penis thing, NOT mer
ShowinWhenGrowin:  me
Lovecat713:  you asked me what my sn meant. i asked you what yours meant. i then MERELY asked if your online identity really just revolved around your penis. yes or no would have been an acceptable answer.
ShowinWhenGrowin:  I said no
ShowinWhenGrowin:  not really
ShowinWhenGrowin:  and you went on and on and on like you were TRULY interested, yet tried to put it back on me when YOU could have EASILY dropped it
Lovecat713:  no, you told me you "weren't one to brag about" it, then accused me of having some sort of hang up with it. look back and see.
ShowinWhenGrowin:  wow, I can't believe it is STILL YOUR topic
ShowinWhenGrowin:  NOT mine
Lovecat713:  is it? it doesn't seem to me you've yet dropped it.
ShowinWhenGrowin:  lol
ShowinWhenGrowin:  you are a trip
Lovecat713:  i try.
ShowinWhenGrowin:  you are what we call in the business as a DEFLECTOR
ShowinWhenGrowin:  usually one who lacks accoutability
Lovecat713:  what business is that?
ShowinWhenGrowin:  see, there you go again
ShowinWhenGrowin:  sticking your nose in...Good bye
Lovecat713:  AHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
Lovecat713:  good bye, sir!
ShowinWhenGrowin:  later
ShowinWhenGrowin:  you can have some other fool to chat with
Lovecat713:  cause this fool is done?
ShowinWhenGrowin:  are you?
ShowinWhenGrowin:  good bye
Lovecat713:  tata!